Yes, we’re having a third. No, you don’t need to pity me.
Prior to making our “big” pregnancy announcement that baby number three is on the way we shared the news with select people. Really, anyone who noticed, because we couldn’t hide it any longer! What do you know, the opinions started trickling in. It’s amazing that some people react the way they do. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate honesty, and I love when people feel that they can joke with us. Although, some responses are plain unnecessary.
Generally, people don’t have ill intentions, yet we are living in a time when people don’t think before they speak. You know, the person who receives a gift for their birthday or Christmas, and rather than saying thank you they say, “oh I already have this shirt/book/etc.” People shouldn’t have to feel as though they need to hide things, but isn’t it courteous to say a simple “thank you”, and move on?
Baffling responses that I received
“You’re going to need a bigger house,”
“Sarah* feels for you.”
I wish I was joking about the responses we received when we announced our third pregnancy. Umm, first of all who are you to tell my family that we need a bigger house? We have plenty of space. We could go live in a tiny home, if that were our preference, and be happy. Even if we decide that our kids will share a bedroom, would that be an awful decision? Didn’t think so.
Also, why does Sarah* need to “feel” for me? Pity is unnecessary. This is the life WE chose, my husband and I. Yes, it is chaotic and even stressful at times, but you know what? It is also fun, and our good days are really GOOD. *Names changed for discretion and privacy.
We choose to embrace this time in our lives, because kids aren’t little for long.
Parenting ain’t easy
Like all parents, we face challenges, lose our patience and even look at one another while holding back tears. We are human, and what works for us may not work for everyone else. We discuss the challenges, we apologize for our mistakes and we learn as we go. The “off days” are just that. Days where maybe we’re in a bad mood, or our kids are. They’re entitled to bad days too, maybe they didn’t get enough sleep?! Parenting is a learning process. None of us are born with the answers or endless patience. What carries us is love. Love and communication.
Expectations go out the window
Many of us walk into parenthood thinking “I won’t do XYZ,” and guess what? We find ourselves doing exactly XYZ. Want to know something interesting? I never intended on breastfeeding. Yet, my first two were breastfed until 15 and 17 months. When I found out I was pregnant with our first I researched everything I could. I did this to figure out how to give my children all (that I thought) they needed, and more. I researched EVERYTHING. Cloth diapers, standard diapers – all the brands, wipes, detergents, car seats, bottles, the list goes on and ON.
“You can’t stop at three. What about the third child complex?
The middle child will get lost in the mix.”
No child will get lost in the mix. Children do undoubtedly have different personalities. That is what makes each of them who they are. Either way I guess we’ll wait and see, but this will not be an excuse that I turn to.
“You’re trying for a boy, right?”
We aren’t trying for anything. Whatever gender the baby is does not matter, as long as he or she is healthy.
To each their own
Then there are those who underestimate a parent’s ability to handle three children. Heck, sometimes I underestimate my ability to handle three children. Yet, I am also one of those people that thinks, “if they can do it, so can I!”
The takeaway from this is that each family is different. Different values, parenting styles and so on. Your family may have chose to stop after one child, or you may have five. Whatever your decision, it doesn’t make any family right or wrong. Don’t make others feel that their choice is wrong simply because it is different from yours. If you are the expecting family, don’t doubt your own family’s choice because of an unsolicited comment by others. Your decision is yours, and is right for your family.
Nutrition and Pregnancy
Wondering how to nourish your body while growing another human? Contact Lacy at Living with Lacy for suggestions and wellness plans that will keep your stamina and nutrient intake high throughout your pregnancy and postpartum! Lacy is a certified Holistic Nutritionist with two babies of her own.
Please refer any specific questions to Lacy, or to schedule a free consultation.